Dear Ones,

We just finished the long, marvelous, exhilarating, and exhausting weekend of putting on a Renewal retreat at St. Ann's --we finished at 4:45 PM and I sat and waited in the room we finished in until 6:00 to give a talk on my conversion story with reference to Mary and the Saints. It was such a blessing to have brothers and their families from Teams 28, 30, 40, and one new guy and his wife from 42 come out to be with me. This was my first real public telling of my Conversion story since I stopped public speaking in 2000. The support of my brothers was very wonderful and really allowed me the comfort ability to share without restraint—on both the weekend and in the public talk.

As well, the snippets of conversation stolen with Father Steven during the weekend, his marvelous two homilies, and the visual image of how Christ bends low to serve and to love us-- I will live off of these for the next two months. How wonderful that the Confessions went so well I could hold Father hostage in the small Kitchen for my own private time with him. :)

As I said in the talk and on the weekend--I owe a great debt of love to the CRHP process--my five brothers in BIC ,Sons of Enoch, Team 28 and Team 30 for accepting me and loving me –loving me when I was unlovely and disagreeable and bringing me back to some form of socialization & interaction with believers again, and Team 40 and 42 for shaping and refining that HOPE in me to open up more fully and let God's love flow more freely from me to others--you all have to be resigned to the fact that sadly my social norms and abilities will always be woefully deficient. J Thankfully, I can say I made it through all the talks in one piece--but the Mass and homilies brought me back to my many tears and I want to continue to submit to Our Good and Loving Father that HE may continue to change me into the man he wants me to be--and somehow break through this heart of stone and teach me to love freely all HE has given unto me. Pray for me.

At the bottom I am attaching my Help letter to Team 42 because in reality it is my thanks to all those who have embraced me through CRHP, the Knights of Columbus, and the many wonderful apostolates at St. Ann's parish. I never thought I would be able to plug fully into a local parish--and though my heart will always be restless until united in Eternity--this has become the closest thing to home for me in this life--and to a displaced and wandering orphan, that is a lot. Thank you.
I am also including the bio and Scripture readings we attached in the CRHP 42 binder along with the “modified worship song” from my youth that speaks of my loss, wander-lust and rekindled Fire of God’s love. Amazing how the great moral theologians of our times: Tina Turner—“What’s LOVE got to do with it?” and Chicago…can first sing the TRUTH to us. :)

When the boys and I were counseled to come and start over in Dallas in 2000, I was told--"The Catholic community in Dallas is one of the strongest places of community and networking--they are who you need to be with." You few solid friends who held my heart together with your HOPE bead for us back in 2000-- the CPLC, The White Rose, TOPP and the pro-life activists—you were the guiding star to get us here and keep us here, and you will always be in my daily prayers and Holy Hours. If I still reject more social engagements then I accept know my heart is always glad to be asked to be with you and yours, and you are all very dear to me always.

I suppose it is the emotions released through the weekend, the public talk and the fresh sadness I am about to share—but I wanted to let each of you know how very special you are to me. I have a long way to go before I will be the man God really wants me to be, and I have a lifetime of regrets to serve out my purgative penance for. But, as the raw emotions of my recent loss with Bryan remind me—I do not want to keep missing the opportunities to be a very real living expression of the FACE of LOVE. I want to give freely the LOVE God has so richly given to me. Please know you are in my heart and forgive me for the many times I fail to personally give to you what HE has given to me. Surely, “the Nearness of God has been my Good, HE is the Strength of my heart…I believe that I shall see the Goodness of the Lord in the land of the Living while I yet live.”

Now I ask you to pray for my dear mentor in the faith and ministry—during the weekend I found out he is on life-support and not expected to live. I am not ready to say goodbye to yet one more good friend and yet I find I am already enlisting his prayers in his final hours of suffering:
Jack Locker—my Pastor since I was 17—a spiritual father who made up all that was lacking in my life and helped me embrace a life of grace and joy in believing. He was the first to teach me of Polycarp, the Martyrs of the Catacombs, Brother Lawrence, Fenelon, John of the Cross, Theresa of Jesus, the Early Church Fathers-he gave me my 37 volume set to read and love. Of Augustine, The Confessions, and Thomas à Kempis…I learned as our Renewal weekend was starting that he had a massive stroke and has been on life support while his daughter traveled to get here today and his body is expected to fail this week. I buried his beloved wife Edna and we have remained close and I am missing him already, and yet praying for his helps and mantel to remain with me.

Thank you all dear friends—old and new—for standing with me through so many of life’s recent difficulties. My heart is still tender with the new regrets of the loss of Bryan and your comments, prayers and most importantly masses offered for Bryan have been the greatest source of comfort—that you give your HOPE bead for the whole Vinzant family—those in the Arms of God and those still struggling heavenward here two steps forward and one step backwards—that we remain, all of us on the PATH.

With a full heart, a thankful heart,

Daniel
“To live without FAITH, without a heritage to defend, without battling constantly for truth, is not to live, but to ‘get along’ we must never just ‘get along.’ “
Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassali

Gaudium et Spes n24
Man, who is the only creature on earth which God willed for itself, cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself.

Bio, song and help letter follow below


New Life in Christ Witness – Spiritual Director
Daniel Vinzant



Family: Andrew – 24, Lewis – 22
In the Arms of God: Emily Katherine (Baby), Sarah Ruth, 21 (October 2000)
Jan Vinzant lives alone in Waco, Texas.

Occupation: Director of Sales for SimCrest, Inc.—a Microsoft Gold Partner selling and implementing Dynamics NAV (ERP software solutions).

Hobbies: Anything my sons involve me in; Church or any conversation about Church; family dinners and intimate Dinner parties; movies with my sons; reading; cooking and new restaurants.

Background: I was born in Waco , Texas – the third of four children, to very godly, activist parents. I attended Howard Payne where I met my wife, Jan. I graduated from Baylor with a BA. I attended Southwest Baptist Theological Seminary in 1980. I graduated from The University of Dallas with a Master of Theology in May of 99’.

Our Family was brought into full-communion with the Catholic Church in Waco, TX on Assumption, August 15, 1998 and helped celebrate Norma McCovey’s (Jane Roe) Confirmation on August 17, 1998 at St. Thomas in Dallas.

My sons and I came to Dallas in May of 2000 and they attended The Highlands School. Jan remained in Waco , having been moved out of the family home in August 1999 by her Baptist pastor/father. Sarah Ruth died in a car wreck on October 14, 2000. We started attending St. Ann ’s in December of 2000. I joined a small BIC group in October of 2002 and these 5 men were the only people I knew at St. Ann’s until my CRHP weekend April, 2005.

I began being invited to CRHP by my realtor, Bruce Umstead in 2001 and said no to the weekend twice and signed up and then dropped out twice, before making the 2005 weekend.

Biggest change in my life since CRHP weekend: I have HOPE again – Our Lord broke my heart during the weekend and made me realize my hope was almost gone. I am beginning to come back to HIM in the Church and see my place in discipleship and fellowship though the new relationships with my brothers in CRHP.


Scripture Readings for New Life in Christ Witness

Luke 2: 52
And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature, and if favor with God and man.

2 Timothy 3: 16
All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.

1 Timothy 3: 14-16
I am writing these instructions to you so that, if I am delayed, you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the Church of the living God, the pillar and bulwark of the truth. Great indeed, we confess, is the mystery of our religion: He was manifested in the flesh, vindicated in the Spirit, seen by angels, preached among the nations, believed on in the world, taken up in glory.

Mark 4: 39
On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side.” And leaving the crowd, they took him with them, just as he was, in the boat….And a great storm or wind arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But, he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care if we perish?” And he awoke and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

Isaiah 43: 1-2
But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior….I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.

1 Peter 4: 7-8
The end of all things is at hand; therefore keep sound judgment and sober spirit for the purpose of prayer. Above all hold unfailing your love—keep fervent in love-- for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins. Practice hospitality ungrudgingly to one another-- without complaint.

Song for New Life in Christ Witness
“I Don’t Want to Live Without Your Love” ChicagoThought it wouldnt matterIf we didnt stay together,And if it was over,Maybe it was for the better.I was thinking Id be alright,til I thought it all through.Now I know that I aint really livingIf I have to live without you.I dont wanna live without your love,I dont wanna face the night alone.I could never make it through my lifeIf I had to make it on my own.I dont wanna love nobody else,I dont wanna find somebody new.I dont wanna live without your love,I just wanna live my life with you.Guess I had to go away,So much I had to go through.Guess I had to lose YOUTo realize how much I love YOU.Can we make the fire burn again,Burn a little stronger? cause Ive been alone, and,I can’t be alone now any longer.I dont wanna live without YOUR love,I dont wanna face the night alone.I could never make it through my lifeIf I had to make it on my own.I dont wanna love nobody else,I dont wanna find somebody new.I dont wanna live without YOUR love,I just wanna live my life with YOU.Oh, if I had to make it on my own,My life would never be the same,My love would never be the same.I dont wanna live without YOUR love.


Dear Brothers in Christ,

By now you have come to the point in your weekend where hopefully you are coming to terms with why you were called by God to be here as a member of the CRHP 42 weekend at St. Ann’s. Perhaps you were like me and someone in your life has nagged you for so long to make a weekend that you finally broke down and just said yes. Perhaps you have been trying to make one of these weekends for a long time. It does not matter—what matters is that you did say yes and now you are here—and in some way you are hearing God’s voice speak to you. A wise friend who tried to get me to attend the weekend for 3 years said, “Daniel it does not matter where you are in your spiritual journey—if you open your heart to the Holy Spirit, there is something for each person to experience—it is not the same for every man, but there is something here for everyone who opens their hearts.

I am sure you are not like me—I had gone through three boxes of Kleenex by this point of the weekend. Father Steven still refers to CRHP 30 as the “Crying Team". :) You have heard a small, very real part of my testimony by this point—remember our confidentiality clause. :) Tonight at 6:00, for the first time, I am telling my story to a larger audience at St Ann’. The fact that I am speaking again at all is my testament to the CRHP experience. Hopefully you are not as wounded as me. But, if you missed it in my quick talk—hear it here. I found myself at a place where I thought I should be alone and that I did not deserve to be loved by others. These men of CRHP wrapped their arms around me and helped me once again run to Jesus, “Draw me and we will run together unto You, O Lord.” They have shown me love, support, and given me the confidence to take up the gifts and calling of God fresh, anew, and to share what HE has given unto me. I owe CRHP a great debt of love.

If you will give yourself to the full experience of the weekend and what comes after—I believe you too will say that God uses CRHP in your life. You have the benefit of Team 30 and Team 40-because I was not there with them, but am with you—it took them a long time to break through and show me their love and patiently wait on me to be able to return that love—I hope they all now know how much I love them—and you too I want to know that I love you-each of you, and if I can be of some help to you do not hesitate to call on me. “O, how good and pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity.”

YBIC, Daniel Vinzant
Spiritual Director Team 40